The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression
The experience I am writing about took place a couple of weeks ago, and I am still flabbergasted that my staff reacted like they did. My center accepts children from 12 months to 5 years of age. We have a two year old who is still breastfeeding as mom usually pumps and brings the breast milk in his sippy cup, but on occasion she has actually breast fed her son in the car after picking him up from the center. One day, she decided to breast feed in the classroom sitting in the rocking chair. She had a blanket covering herself and part of her son, so it looked like she was just cuddling and rocking him. My staff seemed shocked and embarrassed at the same time and I could not understand why. Children continued to play, parents came and went, and not one person noticed anything different or said a word except for my staff. I had an impromptu staff meeting to listen to their concerns about this situation. My first words were that she has every right to breast feed and this center supports breastfeeding. I asked my staff their feelings, and a few responded that it was awkward because she did not warn us what she was going to do. Another said that the child was too old and another staff member stated that there is a time and place for everything. All I could think was WOW, how could my staff that I have trained and nurtured be so biased? Upon further discussion, I found most of my staff agreed that breast milk was the best for children. Of course, I handed out information about the benefits of breastfeeding.
I felt this situation diminished equity because of the reaction from my staff. Did they think she was giving a bad example for other adults or the children? If my staff agree that breast milk was the best thing for a child, why were they so shocked when they saw this mom breast feed? My staff said that breast feeding was good, no doubt about that, but just not when they were around. I could say that my staff is just uneducated about the issue, but they are not; it is a biased situation. I asked the question "How would you feel if you saw a mother breastfeeding at the mall, restaurant, or park? What would your feeling be then?"
My feelings on this subject was that of surprise for my staff. I did not believe that they were so opinionated on this issue. Could it be since that they personally knew this mother that they might have been embarrassed? I personally sat in the room and talked to her and her son while she was breastfeeding. I did try breastfeeding my first born, but it did not work for me. I applaud breastfeeding moms!
Hi Jill,
ReplyDeleteI am always shocked at the feelings on both sides of the issue regarding breastfeeding. Some women are militant about the issue and will just whip the breast out in public with no concern for others feelings on the issue. I am sure they would say that it is the other person's problem, not theirs. But really? Would it kill them to use a coverup and be considerate? I don't have any problem with public breastfeeding myself, I just prefer modesty in the process.
To think that your staff members would feel uncomfortable about it in the center environment is strange. Good for you for speaking to them about it. There should not be any reason to feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding. It is the most natural thing in the world. Thanks for sharing this, Jill!
BethAnn
I am an infant teacher and I often have moms breastfeed their children. Some choose to cover up and others don't. I have gotten so used to it that most of the time I do not notice. I think that breastfeeding is beautiful and if I ever have children of my own I will certainly breastfeed. I do think if you are out in a public place like a restaurant or the mall that the mother should try and cover her breast. Even though breast feeding is natural showing your great in public can be offensive to others and may bring unnecessary attention. If you are in the comforts of your home or somewhere that you are comfortable then breastfeed however you see fit.
ReplyDeleteJill,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your post. Breastfeeding is a very controversial topic especially when it comes to being covered verse non-covered. We were at a gathering for a spaghetti dinner for a race that my husband runs in. The host, chose to breast feed her 3 year old uncovered in front of of everyone (including people she did not know well, and her pastor). I remember my husband coming outside where I was sitting and telling me not to go inside because she "whipped it out and was breast feeding". I just laughed at my husbands response and face knowing that once we had children he might not react in such a way. I do believe that when you are out in public or with guests over, modesty is more appropriate. However, it is a natural thing that only women (not all, but most) get to experience. I hope that your staff becomes more excepting of the choices parents are making.
Breastfeeding is always a tricky subject to people, and often it is misunderstood by some. I got a lot of flack from people because I breastfeed my son for 1 year. Everyone told me I should not be doing this for so long because it was just nasty. My son is the healthest and smartest baby ever. He has never been sick ( thank the lord) and the doctor says its all because of the breastfeeding. It can be multiply reasons why this mother still breast feeds, and should just be a way of life.
ReplyDeleteHi Jill,
ReplyDeleteI am shocked that this seems to be such a controversial subject when there are so many wonderful benefits from it. I think you handled the subject well by addressing the concern right away. However, being in this type of environment you would think the teachers would be more acceptable. Do you plan to adapt a new procedure to handle these kind of situations?
Crystal